ghost writers in the sky

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Chuck norris is so fast he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head

Mango Alexander (also known as the indian railways stealthy stiffener)

Mix equal parts of mcdowell’s number one brandy (but any other indian brand will do, avoiding , of course, the really cheap ones which cause blindness, ricketts and death) and Slice mango drink (as endorsed by the beautiful Katrina Kaif. Pour into 1.5-litre slice bottle, and serve stealthily.